Notes From the O2

 Lakers vs Timberwolves 

O2 Arena, London - Yeah, it was a blowout and yeah, a guy named Drew Naymick played more minutes than Kobe Bryant, but at least it was an NBA basketball game in the UK, and for that we can feel grateful. It was just a little hard to feel it at the time, hence all the boos.

I thought about compiling a game report complete with scores and statistics and all that good stuff, but as the game wore on the scores and statistics seemed increasingly irrelevant. As Kobe said in the post-game presser: “To be honest with you, it’s just another practice.”

Just another practice in front of 18,000 Kobe fans (trust me, they weren’t there for Naymick).

Pregame

·         Stern answers questions on a range of subjects, including the chances of placing an NBA team in London (doubtful), seeing a multi-team NBA league in Europe (more likely), staging an All-Star break in Europe (no chance), and the drive to extend basketball’s popularity in England (“We just want another one in ten to bounce the ball rather than kick it.”) 

·         He also says that the Timberwolves shouldn’t be shaken by the number of Lakers jerseys in the 02, adding: “This young team will be selling a lot of jerseys in the future.” Sure thing, David.

·         Watching Shannon Brown get loose in lay-up lines should be tacked on to everybody’s bucket list. He’s throwing down an assortment of windmills, reverse slams, and leaners. It’s truly breath-taking. Meanwhile, at the other end of the floor, Darko Milicic just got hung by the rim.

·         Michael Beasley receives a big cheer when the Timberwolves’ starters are announced but, to put it in perspective, Phil Jackson receives a bigger one.

·         Kobe and Kevin Love address the capacity crowd, but before Bryant can finish his bonhomie-laden speech, he is drowned out by cheers. I’m guessing his Q rating is pretty high in here.

First Quarter

·         T-Wolves win the tip but Beasley turns it over immediately, leading to a run out and dunk for Odom. I believe we’ll be able to trace the inevitable burnout of Kurt Rambis back to this very moment.

·         Time-out at the six minute mark. James Worthy is introduced to an adulating crowd; he bows, waves, soaks it all in before the Laker girls walk him back to his seat. What a miserable existence he must lead.

·         Bryant, who is scoreless on three attempts, is pulled. If that’s the last we see of him, we could have a riot on our hands.

·         Either the PA announcer is having problems or Pau Gasol has changed his name to Paul, or Paw.

·         A couple of physiological observations: Shannon Brown’s hands are huge, like great big slabs of meat, and Corey Brewer’s legs are spindlier than Victoria Beckham’s, who I don’t believe is here, by the way.

Second Quarter

·         Martell Webster splits the Lakers D with a wraparound dribble before finishing at the rim with a circus shot. I didn’t realise he could venture inside the three point line.

·         GB Basketball captain Drew Sullivan, who just helped the team qualify for next year’s European Championships, is introduced to the O2 during a time-out. It’s clear no one knows who he is, which is pretty embarrassing for everyone.

·         OK, it’s definitely the announcer. The guy’s butchering names like Sweeney Todd. Anthony Tolliver has become Anthony Tollivier (like Laurence Olivier), Matt Barnes is now Matt Bars, and Corey Brewer is Corey Brewster. I have no idea how this is happening.

·         I’m trying to decide what I enjoyed more; Corey Brewer’s fast-break dunk or the Kevin Love outlet pass that led to it.

·         Devin Ebanks, Trey Johnson, Drew Naymick, Sasha Vujacic and Derrick Caracter on the floor for the Lakers. London finally gets the line-up it came to see.

Third Quarter

·         Kobe’s not in the game to start the second half. Has he ever gone scoreless before?

·         Most exciting passage of play thus far: Beasley trips while attempting to get back on D, Odom high steps it over him before hitting Fisher in the corner with a behind the back pass. Darko closes out and sends Fisher’s attempt into the tenth row.

·         Beasley’s locked in. He’s got 19 points on 7 for 9 shooting. Minnesota are shooting at a 60 per cent clip while the Lakers are hovering around 40 per cent.

·         Ridnour throws the ball of the glass for a Wesley Johnson dunk. Ridnour clearly travelled on the play, but who’s complaining? Timberwolves lead 69-58.

·         Lots of turnovers, lots of chippy fouls, lots of free-throws. The crowd is bored. The guy sitting in front of me is leafing through the Economist.  Only Crunch and Chomper - the T-Wolves inflatable mascots - manage to stir the O2 from its reverie.

·         With a little under two minutes remaining, the chants for Kobe begin in earnest.

Fourth Quarter

·         Strangely enough, Bruce Bowen and his bow-tie are in the house. According to the man with the mic, he’s got a sore throat, but the Bowen Collector still manages to tell the crowd that he loves fish and chips. Good to know, Bruce!  

·         Kosta Koufus and Nikola Pekovic could be brothers. They’re the same height, about the same build and sport identical beards. Koufus is a little thinner on top, though.

·         Love drops a perfectly timed bounce pass through his legs to a cutting Webster who finishes with the lay-in. This play alone almost redeems such a sluggish game. Almost.

·         In an effort to keep the “Kobe!” chants to a minimum, the arena staff hurl T-shirts into the stands. The strategy works to perfection. Even the press are going for them. One media guy pumps his fist after making a catch.

·         As Luke Ridnour dribbles out the clock, the boos rain down. Timberwolves win it 111-92.

Postgame

·         Phil Jackson: “We look like we just got off vacation. Either that or we had a really good night the other night in London.”

·         Phil on Kobe’s lack of playing time (six minutes in all): “(Kobe) actually iced down at halftime. I probably should have let the PA announcer know that so the people weren’t upset.” 

Kobe says: “Kurt Rambis gave me a big hug and thanked me for not playing”

At least someone was happy about it.