Stinking Up the Booth

Sean Elliott. Solid playing career. Solid teammate, by all accounts. Stinky announcer. Really stinky announcer.

Generally I can tolerate a certain amount of homer-ism when watching a local broadcast; it adds something for the team’s fans and can be funny (see Heinsohn, Tommy). Elliott, however, will make your ears bleed.

Not only does he deplore every call and no-call that doesn’t go San Antonio’s way, he does it with such pained incredulity you’d think someone had just taken a shit in his shoe (apparently this happens a lot in the NBA). He whines and bitches. He grabs any opportunity to bash an opposing team or player and every opportunity to extol the virtues of “his” organisation.

To him the Spurs are untouchable. If Duncan went into the stands, grabbed a baby from its mother’s arms and proceeded to eat it like a melon, Elliott would undoubtedly find something positive to say (“Another heads up play from Timmy!”)

Then there’s his razor sharp wit. Take the other night’s matchup with the Lakers. Throughout the broadcast Elliott referred to Lamar Odom as Lamar Kardashian in reference to his wife, reality TV “star” Khloe Kardashian. I guess it may have been vaguely amusing to begin with (co-announcer Bill Land certainly had a chuckle) but by the 43^rd time it was about as funny as Schindler's List. 

He’s like a dog with a bone. If he stumbles across something that pleases him, he won’t let it go. During the second half of the Lakers game, Elliott pointed out that a man of Ron Ron’s stature should be ashamed of being bullied around by the smaller George Hill. He then proceeded to hammer home this point for the rest of the game: “He’s the strongest guy in here” , “He could lift up the arena he‘s so strong” , “He’s a walking muscle.” OK Sean, we get it.

Maybe it’s just me, maybe other League Pass subscribers out there find Elliott to be thoughtful, illuminating, charming. I sincerely doubt it.